happy Thursday

Regarding life: ARGGGGGGGGHH. That’s all, really. My brother’s a dumbass, his “girlfriend” deserves a punch in the nose, my neighbours can’t be evicted because…their agents are…afraid they’ll set the unit on fire…? (I shat you nit. That’s what we were told.), I have a migraine (wow surprise) and a sinus infection (what a shock), and MERCURY RETROGRADE.

(Writing this blog is a big eff you to said retrograde. Everything in me wants to curl up in a little ball and isolate grumpily, but hell no, we are talking whether we like it or not. So effing there!)

Regarding writing: self, do not stifle yourself. If you have an idea you want to flow with, then flow with it, don’t stop yourself from doing it — that way leads to madness. Or, well, it leads to writer’s block and pathological boredom. If you want to write about the daughter of certain soulmates, just do it. Restricting yourself and not allowing yourself to write things you’re enthusiastic about is a big no. Especially if you can’t think of a remotely decent reason for doing so! Smarten up your act, dumbass.

(Positive self-talk. *snort*)

Regarding hobbies (oh my goodness I literally typo’d that as “regarding hobbits” at first, ahaha): I’m learning sashiko embroidery~ My first real sashiko needles should be coming in the post pretty soon, aaaand Lincraft is having a 40% sale, sooo…:D Also, I have purple hexies out the wazoo and this makes me a very happy Yunmeng Jiang sect member. I might buy one more “cake” of purple yarn, just to make the blanket a fair size…

Regarding spirituality: I’m going to try and meditate every day for 20 minutes or so from now on. Daoism is…it’s become so important to me, so steadying, so I would be an absolute fool not to embrace it as wholly as I can in as many aspects of my life as I can. I don’t know if I’ll ever venture into religious Daoism, or just remain on the more eso/exoteric side of things, but…what happens will happen. No more fighting, just flowing. And yes, I do believe in qi…

Also, Mum made me a new altar cloth and sitting pillow! Both with turtles on! 😀 I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% that (sea) witch. ;P

Random fact for you to consider: aloe vera incense produces the cleanest scent, I swear. My house smells wonderful right now.

WELL THEN

Just made the three millionth call to

a) the police
b) the complex manager, and
c) their real estate agent

concerning the bogan neighbours.

Just another Monday morning for you.

Sir,  I am fricking exhausted. What am I supposed to do, summon my nonexistant undead cinnamon roll and start killing people or something?

don’t send your kid there.

Self. You may be able to calm your mind with a reasonable degree of success, but you cannot calm your physical body, so when you are in a state of day-long hyperarousal and anxiety and someone suggests maybe they should send their child to Living Faith Primary School, expect to a) be vomitacious for hours on end, b) have a headache, c) be unable to eat, and d) have nightmares and sleep badly.

Also, like, the kneejerk reaction of blurting out “no, oh god, no!” is entirely understandable. Stop beating yourself up already.

Here endeth the lesson. Also, fuck Mercury retrograde, but hey, it ain’t supposed to be easy.

Kirryn has opinions on horror, part who cares

Torture porn and gross-out horror is the cheapest, least intelligent form of horror. Why?

Disgust, especially visceral disgust, is such a base, lizard-brain emotion; it’s not complex, and it isn’t hard to trigger. Everyone, even those with the strongest stomachs, will reach a point where something makes their lizard brain override all the thousands of years of evolution we’ve (supposedly) gone through and puke their guts up. Everyone has that point they reach, it’s just part of being a human being. Exploiting that is so, so damn lazy. To me, that just screams of a creator who either won’t or can’t — I’m not sure which is worse — be creative in their attempt to horrify. Hell, to me, it’s not even horrifying. Horror is…complex, and intense, and clever. It should get under your skin and make you think and unnerve you long after you put down the book or leave the theatre.

…this has been an extended Twitter entry brought to you by I haven’t finished my coffee yet and Hellraiser: Judgment is absolute and utter bullshit and a sham of a movie that has no business being part of one of the most interesting horror franchises of all time.

they get theirs, eventually.

I just read my first ex-fiancee being described as a “cis female Chris Chan”, and all is now well in the world.

Karma, you’re the slowest bitch on the planet and I am literally an awful person, but I can’t help but smile every time I think of it.

(Look, amongst a SLEW of other things, she lied to me about have cancer. Yeah. She deserves everything she gets.)

心平气和。

Dear 11-year-old self wandering around what was then known as the Ching Chung Taoist Temple in Deagon on a school excursion,

Yeah, you know that feeling of peace, happiness, and contentment you feel right now? I wish you weren’t still screwed up with abusive Christianity right now because that is it, chief.

Never mind, kiddo, we get it eventually. ♥

Love,
your older Daoist witch of a self
(PS: it’s known as the “Evergreen Taoist Temple”, these days!)

just flowing with the Dao

I’ve been keeping things on the hush (to the public, anyway) for a little while now, for…reasons. Stalker reasons, mostly, because I am utterly paranoid and I keep ending up in C-PTSD panic spirals (“Who willingly plays the Witch, the Monster? / The Bitch.“) that I diffuse with MXTX fangirl nonsense or throwing myself headfirst into Akayoroshi worldbuilding. But. Things have started moving. The wheels have started turning, and I’m…okay with it.

Or I’m just so done with this situation, that I don’t care? Could be that, too. “A woman needs money and a room of her own, if she is to write fiction”, after all.

Lots of spiritual realisations, too. It’s always hard to admit that a road you were so set on and so damn determined to walk down is literally the worst thing for you, and that your entire existence for the past three years has been fighting Dao, not flowing with it…but…that’s what was going on. I’m not the only person in the history of the world to have done so, either. I suppose I’m just glad I realised it. Time to be like water with my life. What happens will happen; I won’t resist it to the point of tearing my own skin open anymore.

Literally.

In other news…not a lot else to report? Cyclone Uesi is hanging around upper NSW like a bogan at a KFC, so there’s rain rain rain rain. But I’m not complaining; the Morrison fires terrified me into never wanting to whine about rain again. (The problem is now that the land hasn’t recovered from the bushfires, and is getting flooded…soil erosion is going to be dreadful. Tell me again how there’s no such thing as climate change, I double-dog DARE you.) Humidity out the wazoo, what fun! …for someone, I guess.

 

意难平

Fireflies glimmering and moonlight dancing
We once sat side by side and chatted about everything in life
Beautiful sceneries change easily,
And it’s hard to meet the people from the past again…